Habaneros: spicy or no?

Two nights ago, Ben and I had dinner then he headed to hockey, so I had a free evening. I decided to prep a recipe for the next day, because half the time during the week, I get home and just can't face making an entire meal. The name of the recipe is "Habanero Chicken Over a Bed of Pasta." I have never cooked with habaneros, but of course I know in theory that they are one of the hottest peppers out there. I say "in theory," because for some reason I wasn't all that wary about their spiciness. There are times when I've worn gloves just to cut jalapenos because sometimes the spice can really sting if it gets under your nails, but these peppers just looked so cute. "These peppers won't hurt me" I thought as I cut them into small pieces.

Well, the chopping went fine, I put the chicken in a bowl with lime juice, salt, and pepper, and then put the onions, peppers, and other spices into tupperware for the next day. I proceeded to wash my hands, then clean up a bit (meaning my hands came in contact with some anti-germ soaps). Then I worked out and sweated up a storm. After that, I took a shower. When I took my contacts out at the end of the evening, I noticed a slight stinging, but figured it would be fine after they marinated over night.

Ok, well the next morning, I started my morning routine, and started putting my contacts in. I rubbed one of my contacts around on my palm, then gave it a rinse and held it to my eye. As soon as it made contact...I knew I'd made a big mistake. At first I thought the stinging might subside. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I actually have experience with stinging contacts from jalapenos, which sting for a bit but then your eyes tear up and it's ok. But as the burning pain did not subside and I felt like my eye was a boiling pit of tar, I knew things weren't going to be ok. I forced my eye open, and stuck my fingers in which were STILL SPICY from the night before.

I realized that these contacts might be a lost cause, and my hands were definitely not helping me out, so I headed over to my office and grabbed some disposable latex gloves that I use for dying my hair. I got out two brand-new contacts, then did my best to rinse off all the preserving chemicals they came in. I noticed that the latex gloves actually extend much further than my fingers and therefore aren't very good for precision work. Finally, I got the new contacts in my eyes, and looked at the clock: this part of my morning ate up 20 min. But the important thing was: I could see.

So that's the end of my harrowing story of spicy fingers. Later, I realized the irony that the way I figured out that habaneros are spicier than jalapenos...is by testing them out on my eyeballs.

Nyquil tastes like Jeager

So, earlier this week I was a little stressed at work, and super tired, but so anxious about needing sleep that I couldn't actually fall asleep. So, I thought I'd take a little non-medicinal Nyquil to knock me out. Ben couldn't believe I could even drink that stuff because it tastes so awful. I took a sip and had to agree.

"Why did the makers of Nyquil think that licorice would be a good idea for a flavor? People don't drink Jeager for the taste. I dont think." I asked

"Licorice and Root Beer?" Ben asked

I had no idea what he was talking about but I was on a roll so I continued "I have a great idea for our new cold syrup - let's make it taste like Jeager, that won't make people want to vomit when they drink it!"

Ben: "Licorice and Root Beer?"

Me: "Licorice and vomit more like, that's what I taste when I drink it. And then vomit."

Ben: "Licorice and root beer?"

Me: "I feel like you're so focused on your joke that you're not paying attention to mine. And yours isn't very good. Why do you keep saying that anyway, are you saying that's what Jeager is supposed to taste like?"

Ben: "Yes"

Me: "Well stop saying that and laugh at my joke"

Ben: "Licorice and Root Beer?—If you don't think my joke is funny, then why are you laughing?"

Then he got punched.