So the other day, Cory jumped out of the bed where he enjoys warming himself under the covers, but all I noticed were the blankets slithering around. I started just as Ben walked into the room, and he asked what was wrong, and I told him I swore there was a snake in the bed! He informed me in a formal manner that despite what I knew from real life, the Bible says that snakes can't climb trees anymore.
"Anymore like, compared to 10,000 years ago, which you remember well?"
"I'm just saying, a snake couldn't possibly be in your bed because they're doomed to crawl the earth on their bellies or whatever!"
"I can't believe you just made a biblical reference to support a totally illogical point! I'm so proud of you."
"Yeah we should tell that one to your parents."
Thursday, March 11, 2010
The Hoover salesman
So, a guy just came to my door and said "I'm going door to door just trying to get answers to a couple questions." "ok..." "Do you use this product in your home? (holds kleenex box up)" "Not really" "Ok well this is for you, and I'll be right back" (thinking to myself...what??)
"I see you have some carpet over there, can I set up there?" "Um ok (I really just wanted to get inside from the cold doorway)." The guy started to open up the box and makes small talk. I try to imply that my roommate is right downstairs, as I have just realized that I've allowed a strange man into my house while I'm all alone.
So the guy opens up the box and I ask, "Is that a vacuum cleaner?" "Yes it is" "Um ok well we just bought a vacuum and we're pretty happy with it so I don't want you to waste your time..." "well my boss pays me to just open this up and push it around, do you think I could do that for you?" "I'd rather not, I'd prefer to just get back to what I was doing you know?" The guy argued a little more, and I kept insisting that although I was sure Hoover was a fine brand (thinking all the while about my parent's heavy clunky stupid Hoover), I wasn't interested, wasn't interested, but was still polite but NOT INTERESTED. "Are you sure?" the guy asks..."Um YES I'm fucking sure, Mr. Hoover salesman masquerading as a Kleenex rep and/or statistics gatherer! Get out of my house!"
Actually my real life response was much less bold but if I could do it all over again that's what I would say :)
"I see you have some carpet over there, can I set up there?" "Um ok (I really just wanted to get inside from the cold doorway)." The guy started to open up the box and makes small talk. I try to imply that my roommate is right downstairs, as I have just realized that I've allowed a strange man into my house while I'm all alone.
So the guy opens up the box and I ask, "Is that a vacuum cleaner?" "Yes it is" "Um ok well we just bought a vacuum and we're pretty happy with it so I don't want you to waste your time..." "well my boss pays me to just open this up and push it around, do you think I could do that for you?" "I'd rather not, I'd prefer to just get back to what I was doing you know?" The guy argued a little more, and I kept insisting that although I was sure Hoover was a fine brand (thinking all the while about my parent's heavy clunky stupid Hoover), I wasn't interested, wasn't interested, but was still polite but NOT INTERESTED. "Are you sure?" the guy asks..."Um YES I'm fucking sure, Mr. Hoover salesman masquerading as a Kleenex rep and/or statistics gatherer! Get out of my house!"
Actually my real life response was much less bold but if I could do it all over again that's what I would say :)
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